Saturday, May 29, 2010


i recently got to go to las vegas on a "vacany-moon" with my husband. you know, vacation+honeymoon. (i also made the request that every vacation be considered another honeymoon for us. why not keep the passion alive and fresh?) we got to be together for nine whole days. we talked and laughed and cried and made love and wished it didn't have to end. we walked and shopped and got scared at the very top of the stratosphere. he said i was beautiful, he said he loves me. he took me on romantic dates and we went dancing and we took naps and floated in the venetian gondolas. we went to shows and sat in awe of the cirque du soleil performers and the costumes in the lion king. we drank champagne at delmonico and margaritas at margaritaville.

and then it was all over and we had to get me to the airport. its getting so much harder to say goodbye everytime we have to. we are more in love now than we were when this whole long-distance love came to be. its supposed to be harder. we wouldnt be okay if it was easier. how much longer can we go on this way? reaching for one more hug, one more kiss, one last touch of the fingertips before passing through security and it swallows us up. how many more times can i stare up at airplanes, praising them for bringing us together, cursing them for taking us away from each other.

the one year marker date for us being separated geographially if coming up very soon. i dont think it really means anything, its no reason to celebrate or to mourn. it just is. my husband and i are falling apart at times over the distance. but we keep doing it, keep going on and on and on and praying that we will see a light at the end of the tunnel soon. its a once in a lifetime love, and it wont go away with distance. he is my life. we both know that we both considered if it was too much in the beginning. we both had to think about it.

and we both came to the realization that if we didn't follow through with this relationship, with this love that we would regret it for the rest of our lives, no matter what tried to come between us. my medication that makes me insane and emotional, my lonliness, is all counteracted by his strength and ever-lasting patience and love.

its not like we never argue. we realized recently, in one of those many conversations that we have, that learning to live together will have some rocky times. our personalities are really different, and neither of us has ever lived with a significant other. we will be okay, i mean, i know itll work out. its going to be quite an adventure.

god, i love that man.

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